Watch my interview with The Pains of Being Pure At Heart on NYCTV’s New York Noise here!

As of late I’ve had lots and lots and lots and lots of bad luck, but this takes the cake. I got the swine flu. The piggie disease. I don’t know how I got it, but I think Tuesday morning had something to do with it.

This past Tuesday, at around 6 in the morning, a construction worker woke me up, as I had fallen asleep on a pile of metal debris that was once part of a hotel. A bunch of the guys started asking me questions like “Why are you here?” and “What were you doing sleeping on a stack of rubble?” I was still bewildered from waking up so suddenly (the guy rudely nudged me) and I honestly had no idea how I got there.

Assuming I was homeless (only partially correct), they offered me money to eat garbage. I had no problem doing this, as it was sort of “my thing” in elementary school.

The only time I hesitated is when a guy handed me something that was probably medical waste. It had the biohazard symbol and he said he got it from a local hospital to “see how far this little motherf—-er will go for five bucks.” I got a weird feeling eating the contents of the small package, as it consisted of things like gauze and bags of goo, but I did it anyway.

Later in the week, my doctor (Burt) told me that I more than likely have the swine flu, and he quarantined (straightjacketed) me in a small racquetball court until I either die, or a cure is discovered. The last thing I want is for this pandemic to become an epidemic!

So, in the meantime I will continue to prepare for my upcoming rap battle with Alvaro, which you can hear this Tuesday at 6pm, the first rap battle held exclusively on Twittar.

Until then, I shall be cursing the pigs that put me here.

The MC Steinberg documentary, Steinjive can be viewed at http://steinjive.com now!
 
This past Spring, a group of documentary filmmakers followed hip-hop rapper MC Steinberg as he prepared for the biggest show of his career. The actual events captured by our camera crew would not only showcase the critically-acclaimed art of this underground phenomenon, but also the tortured soul of a genius on the brink of insanity. Interviews with Steinberg’s friends and family soon reveal an oh-so-tangled web that has to be seen to be believed.
 
The film features people like Jackie Clarke (Upright Citizens Brigade, Human Giant, Late Night with Conan O’ Brien), Jake Fogelnest (MTV’s SQUiRT TV, VH1’s Best Week Ever), Julie Klausner (SNL’s TV Funhouse, Delocated), Jared Whitham (The Jared Whitham Show), and Nathan Rabin (The Onion AV Club). It also features appearances from Poingly and Darren Mabee’s band We Are The Seahorses.

Winner of the Silver Ace Award at the 2009 Las Vegas International Film Festival!

Julie Klausner as Marie Steinberg
Jackie Clarke as Lorraine
Jared Whitham as Jimmy Stutz
Jake Fogelnest as Jake
Authority Jones as Burt
Trenton Willey as Professor Henry Charwag
Brice McCoy as Angela’s PA
Nathan Rabin as himself
Antonio Perry as Rite Prophile
Peter Thilly as Demetri Lucas
David Kaniuk as Ramiro Perez
and introducing… MC Steinberg as MC Steinberg
Directed by Don Takano

That’s right, Steinbergers. I’m real now. I have a “dot com”.

I had been worried about having a “dot com” since the “dot com” explosion ruined so many lives. But, I felt that it was about darn time I took the plunge, and plunged I did!

I hate to spoil the secret, but it’s so easy. You only have to pay $30 a month via credit card (none of that sneaky pay-pal) to have the “youarelle” of your choosing. From there you pick what you want it to say after the dot. Since http://stein.berg wasn’t an option, I went with the old standby.

Now that I have my very own name standing along such giants as “dot com” and “w.w.w. dot” I am part of an elite group like no other. Every famous person has a dot com, right? NO. Here’s a list of people who I am officially more famous than:

Art Carney (Actor): http://artcarney.com/

Fridtjof Nansen (Scientist, Explorer, Nobel Peace Prize laureate): http://fridtjofnansen.com/

Telma Hopkins (Aunt Rachel on Family Matters):  http://telmahopkins.com/

Pete Gogolak (NFL Player, Buffalo Bills/New York Giants, 1961-1971): http://petegogolak.com/

Greg Prato (Author of “A Devil on One Shoulder and an Angel on the Other: The Story of Shannon Hoon and Blind Melon”): http://gregprato.com/

Rosetta LeNoire (Mother Winslow on Family Matters): http://rosettalenoire.com/

Galen Tomlinson (American Gladiator Turbo): http://galentomlinson.com/

Sean “Puffy” Combs (Musician): http://sean”puffy”combs.com/

Cherie Johnston (Laura’s friend, Maxine on Family Matters): http://cheriejohnston.com/

John Claude Van Dam (Renaissance Man): http://johnclaudevandam.com/

Oskar the Grouch (Filthy Muppet): http://oskarthegrouch.com/

Now that I’m officially a major internet player somebody make me into a “laugh cat” or an “epic fail” or something.

Also, I made a movie. It’s going to premiere this week! Stay tuned! In the meantime, here’s a preview: