This Tuesday on 91.1 (for NY & NJ) or wfmu.org between 8pm & 11pm to donate to The Best Show on WFMU for the WFMU Marathon. WFMU is a non-profit, commercial/sponsor-free awesome radio station, and this is the only way they can make money.

BONUS! You donate $75 or more, you get 2 CD’s: a new Scharpling & Wurster album, as well as a CD featuring exclusive tracks by the likes of, oh, Death Cab For Cutie, Ted Leo, Portastatic, Aimee Mann, James Pants, The Barbaras, the Danielson Familie and many more! Please support WFMU, during the Best Show on March 3rd. You’ll be glad you did! Tentpole radio!

With all of this social networking sh’bazz going on these days, it feels like everybody is a bit more willing to share certain facts about their life to help people get to know them better. 

Since there is no such thing as a bandwagon I refuse to jump on, I present 100 things you may or may not know about me, list style:

GETTING TO KNOW YOU

001. Real name → MC Steinberg
002. Nickname(s)→ Steiny, loser, dumbass, weirdo, garbage-eater, creepy guy that hangs around Penn Station, King of Cool (self-proclaimed)
003. Zodiac sign → My mom sold my birth certificate when I was a kid for a wine glass full of assorted pills, so I never had a birthday growing up. Thus, no zodiac! I do like the pronunciation of “sagittarius.”
004. Male or female → Male
005. Elementary → My dear Watson! (That joke is for the literature buffs out there!)
006. Middle School → I nicknamed it “bully academy” for obvious reasons.
007. High School → n/a
008. Hair color → It’s brown, just like a tree.
009. Long/Short → Middleish
010. Loud or Quiet → Are we still talking about hair?
011. Sweats or Jeans → Do the sweats have pockets?
012. Phone or Camera → I don’t own either, but I imagine a phone would be helpful in some sort of attempted robbery situation, unless you had a really sharp edge on the camera.
013. Health freak → YES! My diet consists entirely of Fig Newtons and Dr. Pepper. No junk food for me!
014. Drink or Smoke? → No.
015. Do you have a crush on someone? → Angela Bassett (I’m really not supposed to talk about her anymore, for legal reasons.)
016. Eat or Drink → I prefer to eat.
017. Piercings → None
018. Tattoos → I have a pentagram tatted on the bottom of my foot.

HAVE YOU EVER?
019. Been in an airplane→ No.
020. Been in a relationship → No.
021. Been in a car accident → Yes!
022. Been in a fist fight → It depends. It involved fists hitting my face.

FIRSTS:
023. First piercing → The time Angela Bassett pierced my soul by calling the cops on me as I waited near her home. Is it against the law to hang out on a sidewalk?
024. First best friends → Bubba & Burt
025. First award → The Best Show on WFMU Rookie of the Year 2006
026. First crush → Angie, after seeing What’s Love Got To Do With It
028. First big vacation → I vicariously vacationed with my movie parents Chevy Chase & Beverly D’Angelo a number of times during my childhood.

LASTS:
029. Last person you talked to → Myself, in the mirror, while crying.
030. Last person you texted → Myself, using Bubba’s phone, while crying.
031. Last person you watched a movie with → Myself, while crying.
032. Last food you ate → ShopRite’s cheaper equivalent of Fig Newtons, while crying.
033. Last movie you watched → Cool Runnings, mon! (While crying.)
034. Last person you hugged → Myself, while crying.
035. Last thing you bought → A neck pillow. That cheered me up for a while.
036. Last song you listened to → Bell Biv DeVoe’s “Poison” while relaxing with my new neck pillow…and crying.

FAVES:
037. Food → Fig Newts!
038. Drinks → Doc Pep!
039. Clothing → I enjoy wearing crew-neck sweatshirts.
040. Flower → Sunflowers sure are big.
042. Color → Purple
043. Movies → How Stella Got Her Groove Back
044. Subjects → This may surprise some people, but I really enjoy oceanography.

Perhaps it was my first visit to an aquarium that sparked this interest, as I found myself endlessly intrigued by the mystery surrounding underwater life.  Personally, I believe that an improved understanding of the oceans and their inhabitants would provide all of us important information about the evolution of the Earth and its tectonic processes, and about the global environment and climate, past and present, as well as possible future changes. I have focused many of my early studies the impact of marine pollution and possible effects of the exploitation of marine resources, together with the role of the ocean in possible global warming and climate change.

These discoveries led me to study other various topics dealing with hydrographic oceanography. The traditional basis of modern oceanography is the hydrographic station. Hydrographic studies are still carried out at regular intervals, with the research vessel in a specific position. Seawater temperature, depth, and salinity can be measured continuously by a probe, which is typically towed behind the vessel. The revolution in electronics has provided not only a new generation of instruments for studying the sea but also new ways of collecting and analyzing the data they produce. Computers are employed in gathering and processing data in all fields, and are also used in the creation of mathematical models to aid in understanding. Much information can also be gained by remote sensing using satellites, which are also a valuable navigational aid. These provide data on sea surface temperature and currents, and on marine productivity. Satellite altimetry gives information on wave height and winds and even bottom topography (because this affects sea level). Deep-sea cameras and submersibles now permit visual evidence of creatures in remote depths.

Unlike many other areas of studies, pertaining to the natural world, we have barely scratched the surface of oceanic studies. Since the early 1900s, all recorded ocean depths have been incorporated in the General Bathymetric Chart of the Ocean. The amount of data available increased greatly with the introduction of continuous echo sounders; subsequently, side-scan sonar permitted very detailed topographical surveys to be made of the ocean floor. The features thus revealed, in particular the midocean ridges and subduction zones, are integral to the theory of plate tectonics. An important discovery made toward the end of the twentieth century was the existence of hydrothermal vents, where hot mineral-rich water gushes from the Earth’s interior. The deposition of minerals at these sites and the discovery of associated ecosystems make them of potential economic as well as great scientific interest. This century will be the golden age of oceanography, specifically pertaining to these hydrothermal vents, and I will most certainly be following these advancements for decades to come.

IN 2008….. I
045. kissed someone → Nope.
046. celebrated Halloween → I tried not to, but those damn 4th graders hit me with their sticky eggs. I’ll get them back. I’ll get them back.
047. had your heart broken → Every day.
048. went over the minutes/texts on your cell phone → I don’t have a cell phone, dingbat! Who do I look like, Sean “Puffy” Combs?
049. someone questioned your sexual orientation → Neither gender pays much attention to my sexual orientation.
050. came out of the closet → Even if I were gay, what would be the point? I would still be alone forever. Oh well.
051. got pregnant → No. I didn’t even think it was possible until I saw Junior, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito. Who knew?
052. got someone else pregnant → The bank doesn’t tell me when it happens.
053. done something you’ve regretted → Where do I start? LOL!
054. broken a promise → Bubba told me about his money laundering scam, and I promised not to tell anybody. However, I wanted to know what “money laundering” was exactly so I put up a question about it on WikiAnswers, specifically mentioning Bubba’s full name and specific details of his plan, and he got caught. My bad!
055. hidden a secret → Nobody trusts me with their secrets for some reason.
056. pretended to be happy → Why pretend?
057. met someone who changed your life → Yes, it was this well-dressed fellow who tested me on his E-Meter.
058. pretended to be sick → Why pretend?
059. left the country→ Not allowed to anymore.
060. tried something you normally wouldn’t try and liked it→ Pedicures. Who knew?061. cried over the silliest thing → Every day, I suppose.
062. ran a mile → I ran for many miles. (Cue Flock of Seagulls! Just kidding.)
063. went to the beach with your best friend(s) → Brining that day up would be bringing up a lot of bad memories for me, Bubba and Burt.
064. got into an argument with your friends → (See 63)
065. hated someone→ (See 63)
066. stayed single the whole year→ Yes.

CURRENTLY:
067. Eating → Somebody almost threw out a perfectly good slice of pizza at Penn Station today. Five second rule, dimwit!
068. Drinking → Somebody else tried to throw out half of a perfectly good bottle of pomegranate juice! What wasters!
069. I’m about to → Pass gas! (SHH!)
070. Listening to → “(I Know I Got) Skillz” by Shaquille O’ Neal
071. Plans for today → Chillin’!
072. Waiting for → Angela to forgive me, and drop that pesky restraining order.

YOUR FUTURE:
073. Want kids? → I would like to have a little Steinberg of my own someday, even if I have to get artificially inceminated, like in that Arnold Schwarzenegger movie.
074. Want to get married? → I should really stop bringing up Angela Bassett.
075. Careers in mind → Hip-Hop legend.

WHICH IS BETTER WITH A BOY
076. Lips or eyes → This is an odd question. I suppose eyes would help a boy see, so I’ll say eyes.
077. Shorter or taller?→ Taller people tend to have an advantage to a certain extent, so I’ll say taller.078. Romantic or spontaneous → I’m not sure why the questions suddenly started talking about boys all of a sudden.
079. Nice stomach or nice arms → I feel awkward answering this.
079. Chest or Bum? → I think these questions were made with a girl in mind.
080. Sensitive or loud → These don’t pertain to me.
081. Hook-up or relationship → I guess I’d say relationship.
082. Trouble-maker or hesitant? → I’m hesitant to answer. Is this list a girl thing?

HAVE YOU EVER:
083. Lost glasses/contacts → Luckily, I’ve worn the same pair of glasses since I was 8 years old.
084. Snuck out of your house → I’m not living in a house right now.
085. Held a gun/knife for self defense → Nope. Although with the number of times I have been attacked, mugged, kidnapped, stabbed, shot, shanked, and generally beaten, I suppose it would have helped.
086. Killed somebody → 
087. Broken someone’s heart → Nah.
088. Been arrested → (See 86)
089. Cried when someone died → (See 86)

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
090. Yourself → Of course! I’m going to be the best rapper the world has ever seen!
091. Ghosts → Yes, especially Jackie Gleason’s. He talks to me all of the time.
092. Love at first sight → (See 26)
093. Aliens → That’s silly.
094. Santa Claus → I met him at the mall.
095. Sex on the first date→ Never really thought about it, to be honest.
096. Kiss on the first date → I’ll see when I have mine.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → A.B.
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? → Of course!099. Do you believe in God → I believe in Tarvu.
100. What is the meaning of life to you → Peace, Love, Unity & Havin’ Fun!

One more thing, I’d like to thank Bill-Doe’s in Little Egg Harbor for having me this past weekend. I’m sorry I spit Dr. Pepper everywhere.

- STEINBERG OUT!

Welp, looks like 2009 won’t be a Steinyear after all. I got kidnapped, again. This time it was for the stupidest reason. I’m not sure if I mentioned the first time I was kidnapped on the Steinblog, but I guess I had it coming. There was this gang in my town, and they had killed two people in one week. So, I figured that if I found their “hangout” (an abandoned factory is hardly my idea of a hangout), I could convince them to stop the killin’, just like the Stop The Violence Movement did in that song “Self-Destruction” back in the ’80s.

Turns out, hip-hop < violence. Instead of “wastin’ my ass” like one of the underlings mentioned, they decided to keep me as their “monkey bitch” for about a week. My poor Mom was so drunk that week, she hardly knew I was gone. Luckily, I escaped by running really fast, and that was the end of it.

I kind of understand where that gang was coming from. They were embarassed that I was a much better rapper than them, and wanted to keep me out of the streets, in fears that I would made them look bad by comparison.

This time, however, was a different story. Apparently these Chinese mafia guys thought I was somebody else and put a hood over my head, pulled me into some sort of vehicle, and tortured me with some sort of cattle prod for three days. Duh, wrong guy, idiots!

Well, after a whole lot of wasted time, they shoved me out of their van and drove off. I didn’t even bother calling the police, because it would mean a whole lot of paperwork for some poor rookie.

I don’t want to put somebody through that. Well, sorry for venting, but I feel much better now. I guess all of the electrocution has given me “the shakes” so I’m going to go see if Bubba can help me out. Bye!

I’ll be returning to New York Noise this month! I’ll have a weekly segement where I’ll be interviewing bands and other folks. I won’t give away too much, but expect to see somebody who played a character named “Pete” on a show that once aired on “Nickelodeon” in the early 90’s. Look for it later this month on NYCTV in New York, and online everywhere else.

I got my pinky toes removed. They serve no purpose, so why have them? Plus Bubba needed some practice, because he’s trying to get into the medical business, but has no schooling.

Steinjive, the documentary about yours truly, won an award at the Las Vegas International Film Festival! It won a Silver Ace Award in the Documentary category. I won’t be able to accept the award, because of my inability to go on planes for legal reasons. Let’s just say I picked a baaaad time to do my Osama Bin Laden impression. It’s a little too accurate.

Steinjive is finished, and the filmmakers are putting the final touches on it. We’re going to have a bunch of screenings in New York, New Jersey and maybe even Chicago. I would have one in Austin, Texas but the people of South By Southwest have some sort of problem with the (spoiler alert) toe surgery scene. We’ll probably take it out of the final cut.

Upcoming show alert: I will be playing in Little Egg Harbor, NJ at some sort of punk rock birthday party. I hope nobody tries to straightedge me. I don’t know what that is, but it sounds painful. Message me for the address.

Also, this year will probably see the release of my EP. It’s been taking forever, because Tay Zonday claimed to have written the song “B.Y.O.Booty” and there was this whole legal kerfluffle. What an ass.

BYE!

During this, the holiest of all seasons, I have to implore you to watch what you eat. I was just in a freezing cold porto-john at a local construction site, blasting out what seemed like gallons of “figgy pudding” for nearly two hours.

So here’s a holiday reminder from your old pal jolly old MC Steinberg: watch what you eat. That delicious honey-glazed ham will give you a not-so-honey glazed toilet. And unless your body is trained to drink massive quantities of egg nog (I drink it all through the summer) don’t overdo it, or it’ll shoot right through ya. And don’t get me started on gingerbread men.

However, I have a solution for some of you, if it’s candy you’re craving:

HAVE A HIP-HOP HANUKKAH AND A MERRY LUDACRISMAS!

Happy Holladayz,

MC Steinberg

Thanks to everybody involved with my last show in Newark at the Kilkenny Alehouse, including the promoters, Manchild and We Are The Seahorses! They even gave me a tree!